Tales of a Horny Insomniac (2024)

Last final complete. ✔️
Senior status unlocked! ✔️
Praise from those you love the most. ✔️
Margaritas with classmates. ✔️
Look at pictures and hate yourself. ✔️✔️✔️
Downward spiral of self-hate. ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️
Ruin good day. ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️

FML sing it K. Flay……

I’m on a weekend away, I don’t even recall the last one I was on. Maybe a tweet up, MITU? Yeah, it’s been that long. Anyways, I’m in Cincinnati celebrating one of my best friends 40th birthday. Aric is someone I owe so much to, he helped guide me towards where I am now, we met for a reason and I wouldn’t even be pursuing dental hygiene if it wasn’t for him. And I love what I’m in school for, no matter how challenging it is, I absolutely love when I’m working in the mouth. I love him more than words can say and he knows it, he’s family.

The party is swank. It’s gold themed and it’s fancy AF. I’m all dressed up and way too trashy for this kind of event. But, I did spend $40 on Tom Ford nail today, so I maybe that makes me pretentious trash.

School is going great, I have so much fun when I’m in clinical. Just have the stress of trying to meet all the requirements of new patients to pass the semester is the only thing I’m concerned about. Sucks not having family close for something like this. But, if I meet them I’ll be a senior in about 6 weeks. This time next year I’ll be taking my national boards… surreal.

I have my apartment 99% done, I don’t know if I shared that. It’s feels like my home now; I even signed another lease. This is huge for me. I haven’t been this stationary in a long time.

I thought for sure it was going to be one of those days where everything was going to be a clusterf*ck, because of a f*ck up on my part, but shockingly it was an awesome day.

Today I thought we were doing skill evaluations the first part of the day and student partners the later half, so I didn’t need to be present an hour early to set up my operatory. I. Was. Wrong. Insert sheer panic as I arrive at a quarter till start time and I still had to change into my clinic gear, disinfect my operatory, get paperwork set up, get my instruments ready and set up everything to begin working on my partner. They like us to have an hour, they say a half hour will work but we will feel stressed. I did this in 7 f*cking minutes!!! (Perfect it was not) My anxiety was through the roof and I thought I was royally f*cked the rest of the day. (Such a huge day to f*ck up let me tell you; it was the first day of officially scaling an entire arch with 3 huge skill exams on top of that.)

My first highlight was when I detected such a hard to find interproximal piece of calculus that you would have thought my instructor was jumping for joy as if it was the first time baby was wiping their own ass. She said, that it was clearly missed the last couple times my patient had their teeth cleaned. I mean, the praise was epic. I kept starring at her as if she was a little batsh*t, but she was just so pleased my novice ass found it.

I scaled the entire mandibular arch with zero errors. I got all that calculus off. Boom bitch! Not bad for my first day of scaling an an entire arch and not just one or two teeth. Three instructors and a dentist checked to confirm that sh*t.

I then passed all my skill evaluations with exceptional marks and was praised there as well. My one instructor who helped mentor quite a bit last semester complimented me on how far I’ve came, and told me she was impressed with my abilities today. Surreal really.

Seeing as I started the day off rough AF and hearing all of the praise instead of it being a downward spiral I’m thankful for today actually. Maybe my determination to not let my oversight f*ck up all my hard work fought my self sabotage tendency. Or I just knew my sh*t today and my game was on point. Either way, today was a total win and it just made me love the choices I’ve made even more. Sure this is seriously the most demanding and hardest thing I’ve done education wise, f*ck you nursing school has nothing on this program and I will take that to my grave. I kind of love it though. Especially my instructors.

Next week I start seeing patients though, scary stuff. I finish my student partner Wednesday morning and Tickle Tickle Thrust is my first real patient that afternoon. So scared and excited. I’m glad he volunteered to be my first patient, Such a good friend he turned out to be. I need more patients though, the disadvantage of being a transplant with no family and friends in the area. So, if you know anyone in the Toledo area who can sacrifice a couple hours each week for a few weeks for a $30 dental cleaning hit me up! The school told me they would make sure I get patients, but I’m paranoid AF and OCD, so hello my anxiety can’t take it. I need a minimum of 7, but they want 11-12, and I have 5 right now, hoping 2 won’t be too advanced for me. My gay even said he would be a patient even though his partner is a dentist if he needed my help, so I might have 6 patients. Stress, I have it.

I can do without the stress, but I’d love more days like today, minus the forgetting my schedule aspect.